In case you couldn't work it out from my subtle title, this month was another big fat negative... felt extra bad as it was the 3rd attempt and I really went all out in so far as acupuncture, diet etc... thought the Universe may have done me a favor and aligned but it was not to be.
So what next? I feel pretty helpless and as though IUI's are just never going to work for me... I'm going to do one more this month on clomid because the vials are already paid for and at the RE office... however, the thought of doing another 3 tries is filling me with horror. My desire is to just jump to IVF and see if that works.
Oh but IVF is so complicated! Not just like I can go to any old clinic... there's research that must be done to see what their success rates are like... plus on top of that I have to find the money to pay for it! (Debt here I come!) I don't really know where to begin... do I go overseas? I consider doing that but I really want an id release/known donor and in the cheaper places they only allow anonymous... sort of going against everything I promised my future child I'd make available to them.
So any input is much appreciated... if you had IVF in New England area and loved the place you went to and it didn't cost 15,000 then let me know. I'd go to New York if the price was right too!
Very much an in limbo post... have decided not to do acupuncture for this cycle and save my funds for doing it when/if I make the leap to IVF.
This is the first point in my journey where TTC is taking up my every thought... up until now I've been pretty calm about it - not testing until at least day 13 (In fact this past cycle I didn't test once!) Now finally I'm in the "Oh fuck, what if this never works" stage. I am not enjoying this one little bit.
Sorry it didn't work. It is hard to know when to move on to something else when it comes to the whole TTC game. It becomes a balance between reality, optimism, finances, time and magic.
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