8.5 months little man.

And here we are with 8.5 months of life and love under our belts.  Its hard to imagine that there was a life without this little chap... I was trying to get a post up during National Infertility Awareness Week but just couldn't make it happen.  I did instead reflect a lot upon what it is to parent after being pretty certain that I was never going to have a chance to experience it. 

I gaze upon my sweet boy and sometimes my blood runs cold when I think how he could so easily not exist... how many millions of things had to go right for me to get this baby!  I even have nightmares of the freezer he was kept in for 3 months going wrong and losing him.  It's these post visions of the loss of the child I know and adore that I feel are the PTSD of infertility.  It's getting better for sure but it's still there.  And there is not a waking hour of any day that I do not fail to count my blessings and my good fortune that I'm a Mother... finally!

My child has blended seamlessly into my existence.  He's a very easy child with few demands (other than to be fed and entertained sometimes.)  He just had chicken pox, cut teeth and was in the middle of a big developmental leap... and during this spell he realized that he could make a very grumpy, pathetic noise and he has been making it often!!  It's a whine, a complain, a cry and a grunty sob all in one.  Its almost amusing to me as up until now I've had a baby that never complained.  Now that he is at least he's giving it his best shot!!

I am in awe of his achievements.  He just started pointing at things upon request "where's the dog/fan/light/bear" etc and has close to 20 signs in his repertoire.  I've been doing very light version of Elimination Communication with him and that's resulted in him pooping/peeing in the potty every morning and most evenings.  (we're only trying twice a day so far).  He loves his family and squeals with delight every time one of them enters his line of vision.  He laughs easily and often and he is such a snuggler.  If I had ever dared to imagine how my child would be, I would never have dreamed up one as perfect as he is.  My chilled out little surfer baby... haha.  I do often state that I'm taking every moment of this stage as I've no doubt he will give me a run for his money when he hits the 2s and 3s. 

I am so glad those horrible years of TTC are behind me but I will never forget them and never fail to be there for others who are still in the trenches of it.  I am trying to work out a way to help others going through it without having to go back to school for years to do so.  If you have any ideas throw them my way. 

The child stirs... he rubs his eyes and laughs at his hands then makes that new noise he's so fond of followed by mamamamum... it's time to go