I'm breaking up with you....

Yesterday I got a call from the clinic asking me when my vials were arriving for my upcoming retrieval.   When I informed them that they should already have a vial of my donor in house as I sent 2 over to them for the last treatment there was a nervous silence followed by an "I'll get back to you."

Turns out that their protocol is to thaw 2 vials of ICI no matter whether they need them both or not.  They put the sperm through 2 washings for IVF and this kills a lot of them.  I still find it hard to believe that with an average count of 23 million they'd need to thaw a second vial.  

The worst part of this all was that I wasn't informed that this had happened until  yesterday - day 4 of stims.  

My donor was out of all product except ART vials which they don't want at the clinic.  I also had had a feeling that it might be time to change donors but when the reality set in that I would actually have to select a new one I just wanted to throw up.  How on earth would I manage this in just 48 hours??!!

The clinic were apologetic for their oversight in not informing me I was out of vials.  They say that they will change their protocol for people using donor sperm and verbally inform them of their 2 vial protocol up front. 

I called the Sperm bank and explained my dilemma and they were amazing.  They gave me 3 days free full access so that I could make a selection.

With sweaty palms and a slight sense of mourning I said goodbye to my original donor.  It was the easiest break up I've ever had... :)  

3 hours later, after having put 8 potential matches in my favorite folder I found him!  I knew it the minute I read that he had a family already and then saw his picture.  I even listened to his entire interview (something I'd never been interested to do before.) I like him so much more than my original choice even.  

So what started off as a very stressful day ended up happily with my new and hopefully improved potential donor daddy winging his way to my clinic.  

If only finding a boyfriend was this easy!!    

Here we go again...

I'm officially back on the IVF train. For some reason I'm finding it so much more stressful than last time.  This must be because last time I was sure that IVF would work for me... this time - not so much.  

Insomnia hit me hard on Friday night knowing that I would be back to injecting my belly the next day.  I had dreams about Q-caps and actually had to watch a video on mixing menopur and follistim on you tube to shut my brain up.  It didn't work.  So. Much. Anxiety.

This is all a surprise to me as I'm not a person that suffers from anxiety.  I guess it's all just caught up with me finally.  

There's not much to tell.  I got through the shot seamlessly although I did leave a bruise so I need to work on my skills as last time I didn't bruise til the last few shots. 

In other areas of life things are good.  I'm day dreaming of a move and starting my own business.  This plan could happen whether baby comes or not. 

I'm sick of working for other people and whilst the workload of opening my own business has scared me off up until now, I'm finally ready to take it on. I'm good at what I do and I know after years of working in the service industry that I could be successful.  But not here.  Where I live now is prohibitive to my budget.  Plus I am beginning to loathe winter.  I need a place in the sun.

Whether it happens or not it's a nice B plan to think about.  A dream that proves that my life is not over if this 2nd round of IVF doesn't work.