It didn't work. Again.
I don't have anything positive or good to say right now so I'm just going to hibernate until I find a corner of myself to gather the strength from to continue.
Another FET in a couple of months. I don't hold any hope of it working. Just going through the motions.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Retrieval and transfer
Here I sit writing this with 2 little embryo's inside me, percolating, attaching or dying... who knows? They're the most perfectly round little blobs. 2 little worlds, one of whom (at least) that I hope will enter my world.
This wait is different from the others. I'm vowing to be positive and believe that this process can and will work. On the other hand I'm feeling so scared that it won't work because it didn't before. I know all of this is totally normal but it's so tormenting.
One thing is for sure and that is "I'm so ready for this!". Gone are 100% of the fears that I had going into it: The worries about diminished social life, sleepless nights, being overwhelmed by responsibility... finances.... men even!! Just bring it on because I'm going to be just fine. We are going to be just fine.
The whole stimulation process was very different from the last time... more uncomfortable, more bloated. Retrieval was more painful, there were more eggs!! Lots of more. 15 eggs. 10 went on to fertilize. 5 made it to blasts with another 2 or 3 they think might have become blasts on day 6. (Will find out later this week.) That's 7/10 which I think is pretty impressive!
Luckily all 5 were Grade A (one slightly more magnificent than the other 4) so the decision of which 2 to put in was obvious.
The lovely RE who performed the transfer was reassuring, she was a little concerned about transferring two such beauties into my unicornuate uterus but I insisted that it was the right decision as I don't appear to have the best quality embies (none of them having stuck last time.) She agreed particularly after she saw my uterus and claimed it to be of a very good size for its affliction. She claimed that by looking at it you'd never be able to tell that it wasn't a whole uterus. Apparently she can often times see that it's smaller on the ultrasound although diagnosis this way is impossible. That was so reassuring to me I can't even put it into words.
So now it's the waiting game... and the hoping game and the noticing every twitch your body makes game. 8 days to go. Stick baby stick!
This wait is different from the others. I'm vowing to be positive and believe that this process can and will work. On the other hand I'm feeling so scared that it won't work because it didn't before. I know all of this is totally normal but it's so tormenting.
One thing is for sure and that is "I'm so ready for this!". Gone are 100% of the fears that I had going into it: The worries about diminished social life, sleepless nights, being overwhelmed by responsibility... finances.... men even!! Just bring it on because I'm going to be just fine. We are going to be just fine.
The whole stimulation process was very different from the last time... more uncomfortable, more bloated. Retrieval was more painful, there were more eggs!! Lots of more. 15 eggs. 10 went on to fertilize. 5 made it to blasts with another 2 or 3 they think might have become blasts on day 6. (Will find out later this week.) That's 7/10 which I think is pretty impressive!
Luckily all 5 were Grade A (one slightly more magnificent than the other 4) so the decision of which 2 to put in was obvious.
The lovely RE who performed the transfer was reassuring, she was a little concerned about transferring two such beauties into my unicornuate uterus but I insisted that it was the right decision as I don't appear to have the best quality embies (none of them having stuck last time.) She agreed particularly after she saw my uterus and claimed it to be of a very good size for its affliction. She claimed that by looking at it you'd never be able to tell that it wasn't a whole uterus. Apparently she can often times see that it's smaller on the ultrasound although diagnosis this way is impossible. That was so reassuring to me I can't even put it into words.
So now it's the waiting game... and the hoping game and the noticing every twitch your body makes game. 8 days to go. Stick baby stick!
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