This cycle I failed to kid myself that I might just be pregnant... I felt less than nothing and as such was drinking a glass of red wine (medicinal of course) every evening after 9dpo. I just knew. I tested on 12dpo and of course it was negative. I also had the niggling pre-cramps of my period from that same day.
Beta test on day 14 and the call that it wasn't a success.
Still feels like shit.
Period today in full force, cramps to cripple me and what's more there's snow on the ground outside. So over the Winter!
Even though I knew it hadn't worked this didn't mean that I wasn't hoping for a surprise miracle. It still disappointed me. Plus now I have the fear that it might never work. The AMH test results really got to me.
On the other hand I'm necking back vitamin D3 as I sincerely think that this Winter has deprived me of direct sunlight... wrapped up in a multitude of layers to walk the dog, only seeing the sun through glass etc... so maybe this explains my low amh level... we shall see. I'm also taking maca, royal jelly and my Ojas milk (which has done wonders for my joints.)
HSG test next week followed by more acupuncture and another monitored but unmedicated cycle. It makes sense to me as I would otherwise have to sit this month out due to them not allowing me to be medicated and having the HSG.
Hoping for a lucky no 3.
Already made an appointment with my RE to discuss getting aggressive after this...
Already looked into having IVF in Prague.
Interested in mini or natural IVF but it's just as expensive to do that here so don't really know whether there's a point to that. Don't know whether they offer that in Prague or not but will ask.
Hate the idea of all those meds. The Birth Control pill used to make me so crampy and moody... I always had to stop taking it almost as soon as I'd started.
Feeling bit crap and lonely... wish I knew someone close who was going through it at the same time... no matter how supportive friends are I just don't want to talk about the emotional toil this takes to them. I guess there are no words.
Sorry to hear it didn't work. I went into TTC thinking that my first two would be failures and the third would work....oddly that is exactly how it went down in reality. I remember thinking the "what ifs" and worrying that maybe I would never be a mom. Now that I'm counting down the months to my TTC for #2, I'm once again feeling those old worries pop up. I get it. It would all be so much easier with a crystal ball, right? If you ever want to chat, I've been checking my email more often lately: aplannedlife@gmail.com
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