Unicorns in my Uterus. *WARNING - GRAPHIC*

Part of the human condition is to take things for granted.  I am of course guilty of this although I am often thankful that my heart keeps beating, my knees are holding out and that life is generally good. 

I took it for granted that the things I can't see in my body were as they should be and this is how I went into my HSG this week.

On a side note I've never had a male OBGYN, not even for a pap or anything.  I was a little disconcerted by the 65 year old man that greeted me by holding my hand and explaining that he was going to be doing the procedure.  Bit creepy but oh well. I'm good at relaxing through procedures so I still wasn't too worried. 

None of the instruments he used were warmed so the speculum went in almost icy and instantly tensed me up... each time I'd relaxed through it the next one would come in and be freezing.  When the catheter was inserted and 'clamped' in place the pain was insane and made all the worse by the fact that you can't move whilst you're cramping.  I could feel my body using every ounce of its strength to get the catheter out of me!!  I guess it took longer than usual as they were rolling me around for a while and then finally it was over and everything was yanked out of me.  

I was told that he suspected I had a unicornuate uterus but not to worry as this doesn't mean that I can't conceive... just that I have a high chance of miscarriage and pre term labor - that's all.  Then he said I was going to have a sono hystogram instantly so that they could have a closer look... that many women who have this condition also have just the one kidney.  

Super... so I'm walked across the hall to the next room with a towel between my legs and given a vaginal ultrasound followed by a sono where the catheter is reinserted (further insane cramping but not for as long but made me cry - more out of fear than anything!) and then the news that I do have two kidneys and two ovaries but only the left is attached to the half a uterus... I think he said that the half was of a good size but not 100%.   I think that what I have is either picture A1b or A2 in case you need a visual (which I did but wasn't given.) 

The experience was awful... I was treated as if I were unconscious and they were speaking about me whilst I was there (saying she/her instead of my name).  I guess it's kind of rare and they were very excited so there were 4 of them in the room reading the monitor.  I even told them that they needed to calm down, that they were overly excited about me perhaps having only one kidney but they ignored me.  My questions weren't really answered... everything was vague and I felt pretty violated.  I even had to ask them to explain the sono procedure as everyone was just ignoring me at that point. 

I was told I could go ahead and do an IUI this month if I wanted but that it was up to me.  As I'm ovulating from the right ovary (that leads to nowhere) I decided to save my money and talk to my RE instead.  If I need IVF I want to save all the money that I can as I've already blown through all of my savings to get to where I am now.  ugh.

I've already sent an email to New Hope about mini ivf... I don't know if it's the best solution or not but I figured I'd be proactive.  My RE isn't available for 2 weeks so I'm on a different sort of wait and doing all the research that I can do in the meantime.

I'm super upset but trying to be positive... Unicorns are lucky right?  I also feel that the fact that I'm an anomaly might get me some more serious attention.  I'm hoping that my RE / IVF clinic will see me as a kind of challenge and go the extra mile.  It might sound silly but it's all that I've got to cling to right now.  I've no idea how I'm going to come up with $10,000  

I'll find a way though... will prob have to move in with my Mother at the end of my lease so that I can save money that way... take out a loan or something.   Just so many questions and so much uncertainty right now... Suggestions on how to get a 20,000 windfall greatly appreciated.

Funny end note: 

The creepy old Doctor asked me if I had a husband..... then boyfriend... to which I answered no... I'm doing this on my own,  that I'd had a boyfriend but he didn't want children so I don't have any other options. He gushed 'Fabulous... that's excellent... he deserved to get kicked to the curb'.  

I couldn't help wondering if he'd been puzzled by my freshly waxed you know what...  Guess I'm an anomaly in more than one way to him!