Too good to be true.

*Warning, possible miscarriage mentioned*

So folks, it doesn't look like this story has a happy ending.  Yesterday at 7 weeks and 1 day I went for my first ultrasound.  I knew that something wasn't right as the technician wasn't excitedly turning the screen around to show me the heartbeat.  She asked me how far along I thought I was and then told me that what she saw was perfect for 5 weeks and 6 days.  8 days behind where I actually am.

I knew where this was going.  Gestational sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole.  No heartbeat. I've seen this happen to too many women to hold hope out for a good prognosis.

My RE says that we will give it another week.  That sometimes crazy things can happen with FET's but that it's not good.  He says to be pessimistically optimistic.  The executioners ultra-sound is on Wednesday.  I've already opted for a D & C.  I don't want to suffer through weeks of bleeding and uncertainty.

I'm naturally devastated.  I'll never have a BFP again, it'll always be a BF Maybe.  I can't even afford to do this anymore so this was more than likely it... my final shot.  Unless some miracle study appears that enables me ride this roller coaster again for free.  

As expected the new guy is being a sweetheart.  He holds out the hope that I can't.  He's just as disappointed as I am.  For now I'm hibernating and waiting out the next few days and trying to ignore the cramps that are already starting to change in their nature.