Silence Broken

I'm back!  Ish.  I guess I just needed a sanity break... my bank accounts were empty (still are!)... my body felt like it belonged to someone else and my brain just didn't want to focus on my lack of fertility for a while.  

The last round of IVF took me for a ride physically.  I was in pain for 5 weeks... pain that I could live with but pain that made a BFN the harder to bear.  I still have 4 embryo's in the freezer so there's that.

As far as the TTC journey goes - I had a biopsy of my Uterus taken and sent to some clinic in Spain where it was analyzed.  It came back as receptive.  I'm told that this is good news and that it just means that it's only a matter of time before I get a positive result.

I also turned 40 and on my birthday got a call from my RE to tell me that he thinks I qualify for the Afolia study.  This means that a round of IVF will cost as much as a FET would usually cost.  Even though I said "NEVER AGAIN!" this may be too hard an offer to pass up.  

New Dilemma:  I may have to use a different donor as it says on the website that the current one (with whom I still have 4 embryo's) is out of stock.  I've yet to call but the notion that I may end up with embryo's from different donors is sitting uncomfortably in my mind.  I will look into this further when my eligibility for the trial is confirmed later this week.

In other, other news I seem to have met someone awesome.  Totally out of the blue and unexpectedly... it's super early and he could still freak out as he's got some big drama's going on in his world (custody battles etc.)  Has so much potential though.  It's the first time I've been with someone in years and thought seriously that it could go somewhere.  I'm still protecting my heart, taking it sloooooooooooooooooow and being as honest and real as I can with him.  Too old for messing about.  He also knows that I'm forging ahead on this TTC path and he's so far so cool with it.  I figure he's got young children so what difference to throw one more into the mix?  Right?  Exactly.